I have to say when my eyes passed over, "I was not sorry when my brother died" (Dangarembga 5) – in Nervous Conditions by Tsitsi Dangarembga – my eyes went wide. The shock caused me to read that line not once, not twice, but so many times that I lost count. However, once I absorbed it, I understood completely. I know it's terrible to say but some "bad" things happen for the better. There are some people that just hold us down.
For instance, my biological father abandoning me when I was 14 would be defined as a horrible thing from an outside perspective, and all I would say in response is, "I was not sorry when my father left." Like Tambu and her schooling, I got friends for the first time in my life. Without the commitment of spending Friday night at my father's it opened doors for me that were even beyond my imagination before. This is exactly how Tambu feels about her brother's death.
Tambu's character made sense to me so much more clearly than anyone elses. She has risen from poverty to having these nice things. It did change her, but it did not change who she wanted to be. Unlike Nyasha, Tambu picks her battles and finds smaller ways to rebel without unleashing Babamukuru's entire wrath on herself. This is what I do in my life with conflict. It's too exhausting to fight every battle like Nyasha, so you have to be smart about the things you fight for and decide whether something or someone is truly worth fighting for. This applies to every part of life and every choice you make. Dangarembga is warning us to make wise choices.
You make a good point about how Tambu may be more successful than Nyasha because of her more conservative strategy for rebellion, a little bit at a time. Of course, I think it may be debatable that Tambu rebells very much at all: it seems like she totally capitulates in the end, even though it is giving in to comfort rather than hardship. Idealism can be very stressful, so I think your observation about making wise choices is good, but complicated.
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